i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
