i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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