So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
