i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
