i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
