So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
