Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
