Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
