Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Sober January is a disaster.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
