We got so high we made milksteak
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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