we're blogging at a bar
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
