WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
