Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
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