i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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