xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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