Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
