i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I still have a little drunk in my system
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
