You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
