i think i have herpe
just one?
i think i have two assholes
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
