Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
