he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
