Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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