with your own penis?
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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