So gin and wine won't be happening again
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
