so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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