I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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