you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
