Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
only if we run a train.
done.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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