I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just saw a hot homeless man
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
