Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
