What a fucking waste of an outfit
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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