Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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