She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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