I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
