He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
