you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
PS: I just woke up from my shower
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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