420 ftw
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
