so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
