So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
