dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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