I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize