I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
