I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
