hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
