he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
