He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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