Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
