dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
