A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
