She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
