I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
