we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
