whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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