This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
she peed on how many people?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
