I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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