Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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