she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
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