glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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