A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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