Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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