Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
