i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
