just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize