Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
