wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
