I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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