I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
